Emily Nguyen, Week #3: To Be Lucky
As we delve further into the school year, tests and quizzes come and go. Certain students will maintain a stoic quality as they push through their days, ignorant of the daily reviewing they should be doing for the college-level courses they are taking on a couple years too early. And in ignoring the concept of studying for an assessment before the night before the test, such students will realize that they are utterly unprepared.
Helpless.
Kids will so casually choose to not study, prioritizing other matters over the mundanity of review, in such a steadfast and determined manner too! They would rather gouge their eyes out with spoons than crack open a textbook or peek at Collegeboard practice material; they maintain the hardiness and courage of a Greek spartan as they deny the looming threat of a test pummeling their grade.
And thus—carrying this identity of a bold soldier against the barrage of test reminders hurled their way—students will undergo an extreme metamorphosis when the time arrives for their knowledge to be assessed.
They will look out the windows of the classroom with a forlorn, paralyzed gaze. Realizing, “Oh why, couldn’t I have just studied a little earlier?” Students will morph from stone-faced, nonchalant-types as the test nears, to desperate, destitute, and defenseless against the wrath of an unforgiving test. Their meek selves reflect a severe change in identity as Test Day arrives.
In such a transition, students will resort to luck: good-luck charms, superstitions purging any bad vibes; lucky, obsessively compulsive routines—all in order to ensure the greatest sum of good luck to bless them as they pray for the unshackling of their little minds, hoping to miraculously gain the knowledge they neglected to learn.
So: the once steady, unfaltering spirit a student embodies as they routinely disregard the urgency of their studies crumbles under the despair of the hour before a grade-shattering test. And in the place of said spirit, the student evolves into a desolate shell of their former self, praying to every god they could possibly pray to in order to save themself by pure chance—empowered by luck.
Emily, this post feels a little too accurate. Although I am neutral to the concept of religion, I remember avidly praying to every single god I had ever heard of during the ten-minute break between the sections of the AP World History exam in May, begging that one of the question prompts would be on the globalization unit. Growing up in a passionately Hindu family, my parents still observe numerous nonsensical superstitions as a way to ensure the family’s good luck; for example, they ensure that we never sleep with our heads pointing North. If I re-enter the house before leaving, I have to sit on the couch for 2 minutes before going out again. When I put my socks and shoes on, I have to put them on my right foot before my left. I like to think that despite the diversity in religions and beliefs around the world, something that unites us all is hope—especially hope for a lucky miracle.
ReplyDeleteEmily, I absolutely love your style of writing; you phrase everything so insightfully and I really admire your varied vocabulary and sentence structure. The constant procrastination of studying and then the regret of having procrastinated is something that I can relate to in its entirety. I have also learned to rely on good luck charms as my saving grace when it comes to giving myself some more confidence on test day; having my lucky pencil and wishing at 11:11 always make me feel better about my own abilities. I love the picture of your lucky cats and I wish you good luck on your future chemistry endeavors.
ReplyDeleteI feel like this is the common thread throughout all your blog posts--but your control over tone is so very impressive (and very you). I’m not quite sure how to describe it, but you write both like an omnipotent being watching us mortals in a glass box but also someone who’s “played these games before” dare I say. I will admit, without shame, that I am one of those people--not to the extent that I’m praying for my life, I still study. But I always inevitably have a moment during exams where I stare my inadequacy in the face and I always find myself deciding that yolo-ing it is better than giving up. And coming back to your unflinching language, especially in your final paragraph, it really evokes that feeling of defeated helplessness, clutching at smoke because physical things have abandoned them. Your description about the image also made me audibly giggle--as strong as we feel about things, we’re all human: we become hypocrites at some point (I’ll pray for your AP Chem grade).
ReplyDeleteHi Emily! The way you perfectly captured the feeling of a test approaching and the realization that you are too late, making you grasp for luck, is incredible. This feeling really hit close to home. I always feel like I have more time to study than I do, that is when I even feel like opening up the book to study at all.
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