Acintya Shenoy, Week 8: Excuse My American
Since the first day of freshman year, I have crossed the intersection of Alder Avenue and Fremont Boulevard to get to school. I did this every day along with likely hundreds of my fellow schoolmates, and although the people I walked beside always changed, one thing remained common:
We walked in complete silence. We waited for the crossing guard to beckon us forward, and we made our not-so-merry way to school.
The first time I ever heard someone break this silence was after school one day before a football game, when my friend Tayjah and I went to the crosswalk to go to Ain’t Common (back when it was Ain’t Common and not Bing Bing or whatever). As we passed the crossing guard, she did something I’d never seen before:
She looked up at the crossing guard, smiled, and said, “Thank you.”
It was a small gesture, but it made waves for me. I’d never even thought to say a simple “thank you” to the crossing guard, who probably stood at that crosswalk for an excruciatingly long forty-five minutes twice a day in freezing cold or sweltering hot weather, and probably always dealt with a bunch of walking condom advertisements who crossed the street even when they were specifically told not to.
I’d always thought of myself as a polite, well-mannered person. But Tayjah’s act that day made me realize that I’d never truly realized that respect is not solely reserved for those who do something or mean something for us.
As immigrants, my parents have often pointed out to me a stark cultural difference between India and the United States. Since birth, Americans are often taught to be well-mannered; this includes saying “excuse me” after sneezing, burping, or cutting the cheese, the practice of holding doors open, refraining from staring at others, and saying “please” and “thank you” to customer service workers. These customs are drilled into a sizable percentage of our population, and, as my father told me, are largely uncommon in India.
Does that mean all Indians are rude? Absolutely not. Indians are known for their kindness and hospitality to tourists. My point is that the United States’ tradition of exhibiting kindness and respect is much more unique than Americans think. And in a time period in which so many Americans feel that their country is destined for the bottom of the drain, and political hostility continues to rise in academia, the government, and social media, it’s important to remember that our country has positive aspects, too—we just need to make sure we cherish them and continue passing them down for future generations.
Acintya, I appreciate the bits of humor you added into your blog! Stuff like condom ads and cutting the cheese (one of my all-time favorite phrases) made this fun to read on top of it being an interesting topic.
ReplyDeleteAdding my own two cents to your blog, I highly relate to your friend Tayjah. When I can get the words out, I always thank those who are doing things for our sake–especially the people who get on the road and tell us when to cross, or to stop cars from bloodbaths. Though I’m actually a shy person, I do my best to automatically thank the people who offer these services. I thought I was well-mannered enough this way, until I went out for errands with my friend and he was like, really polite. I had that same moment as you with Tayjah—this guy was being exceptionally cordial and asking cashiers how their day went and doing all sorts of other, naturally kind things for people. He’s not extroverted, just raised with great conduct. I could never, as even having to think about engaging more with people kinda startles me. Similarly, I thought his parents must have been hellbent on getting their kid to be disciplined with this stuff, having manners like these (his parents are great people too). Observing such polite interactions reminded me of stuff I see more often in American movies, honestly.
In this way, I have also witnessed America’s manners culture. I never thought too hard about other countries not being as polite, but you provided some insight. It makes me a little proud that Americans came out a little nicer to each other compared to the practiced etiquette in other places (not saying that Indians aren’t nice to one another, of course). Thanks for this piece, especially for pointing out one positive thing about America amongst the slew of negative takes!
Acintya, I found your blog extremely impactful. I too used to walk the Alder intersection on a daily basic, but now I can gratefully say I drive to school. Pointing out an action so simple as crossing the street to arrive to school allowed me to reflect on all the times I've crossed that street, or really any street at all. It is kind of crazy comparing how rowdy streets are, but the morning of AHS on Alder/Fremont remains quiet. This part of your blog almost encourages me to "break the silence" more and talk to more strangers as I cross streets—even if it just be a quick 20-second conversation. I also heavily agree with the "Ain't Common...or whatever part" because genuinely why does the name switch every other 6 months. I will FOREVER remember it as T4. The Friday hangouts after Thornton almost always features a stop by, and my friend group and I thought we tuff walking past the scary gates of American High School, making our way to play basketball at Los Cerritos. I also appreciate this Blog because of its (or atleast my interpretation of its) focal point—the interaction between your friend and the crossing guard; it really illustrates just how much impact one person, or one action can have. It shows the ripple or butterfly effect (of which the latter is an amazing Travis Scott song) in real life. I can also share that I relate to the experience you shared with your parents. I had an EXTREMELY, and it's kind of crazy you even pointed it out because I didn't realize this was a more universal event, similar interaction, where they shared practically exactly what your dad shared with you. In my opinion, it's kind of crazy that basic courtesy is not practiced worldwide; it definitely should be. I also loved the ending of your blog; just the other day in Leadership ( last friday), I gave a presentation focusing on Positivity and Gratitude, and one of the key points was that we, as a society and as individuals, should focus on the positives or the good around us, rather than the negatives or the bad. I think the last part of your blog parallels this idea pretty closely. Overall, I loved reading your Blogs throughout the last few months. Acintya, keep up the great work! and have a great, and RELAXING Winter Break.
ReplyDeleteAcintya, I loved how you ended this blogging period with a positive aspect of America. I think it is always easy to see the negative aspects of the community in which you live, especially when writing about it. I never realized, until you pointed it out, just how polite we are as a society. I think that the inclusion of the cultural differences between America and India really highlighted how special this belief of being polite is to America making it an important part of our society and identity as an American.
ReplyDelete